Who am I? Who am I really? A small group of significant, very vocal people negatively influenced my thoughts, perceptions, assumptions and opinions of who I was. Like the waves in the sea, they were relentless. Merciless. Never giving up. Never backing off. Always on the attack. Always looking for ways to devour me. Were they family? No. Were they friends? No. Who were they then? They were a group of people I spent eight hours of every working day with. According to them, I was:
Is that it? Is that what this was all about?
When was I rude? The way I talked to others. Not to them. Not about them behind their backs. But to unnamed others.
When was I disrespectful? I am a passionate person. I talk with my hands. I talk with my body. I have a slight hearing impairment. All of which cause me to talk louder than someone else might. That was the purported cause of the disrespect. I was loud on occasion. Aren't we all?
When was I confrontational? Ahhhh, now that's a good one. By nature I'm not a confrontational person. I learned early in life to be quiet, to shut up, to never voice my feelings. In fact, I was the proverbial doormat come to life. Lying on the floor to be walked over. Passive. Yet, I was finally growing up. Growing out of these behaviours. Into healthier behaviours. Learning to cope with life. Learning to stand up for myself. Learning to voice opinions. Most of all, refusing to be a doormat any longer. I was in a catch 22 situation: if I said nothing, the situation continued; if I said anything, I was subject to gossip, slander, being reported to those above me.
Was I destined to crash and burn like the kite? Or could I learn to soar above the ground? Above the situation? Could I learn to walk again emotionally? To fly again? To laugh again?