Monday, January 16, 2012

The Ramblings of a Deranged Mind - Preamble

There is nothing worse than the blank page.  It is pristine.  Unfilled.  Waiting.  Expectant.  Terrifying.  But as the words come, the page becomes less blank, more filled, it's waiting and expectations starting to be fulfilled.  Less terrifying.

Starting a blog for the first time.  Writing the first post is all of the above - and more.  Will people read it.  Do I even want them to?  What if people don't like it?  What if the wrong people access it, don't like what they read and retaliation?  What if?  What if?  What if?

But what if people, starting with a small circle of close friends and family, do read it and do like it.  What if it becomes a voice for me, restoring my power and control over my life?  What if?  What if?  What if?

So therefore, I have decided to follow the advice in the Nike ad:  Just do it!  Just do it!  Take that blank page.  Fill it up with words taking away its pristineness.  Taking away the fears.  Learning to swim by diving into to the pool and just doing it.

So today, I start.  I get my feet wet.  Heck, not just my feet but my whole body - hair and all.  Today I jump in fearing that I will drown and not rise to the top.  Yet my whole body floated up to the top.  My legs kicked.  My arms moved.  My head emerged through the barrier of the water to the freedom of the air above.  Breathing once again.  Feeling exhilarated.  Triumphantly, I swim to the side, hoist my body onto the deck and look back at the fear.  I've done it.  I've done it.  My first post on my new blog.  Yes!  I've done it.

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