Wednesday, February 22, 2012

I came, I saw, I conquered

Tobermory, ON Lookout Tower
note the person on the stairs ... going up

In an earlier blog, I recounted my successful attempt on combating my worst fear.  The fear of heights aka the fearsome and intimidating Parry Sound Lookout Tower.   Although I did it afraid - and still do it afraid even after four successful assaults, facing this fear up close and personal gave me a heady sense of excitement.  I did it!  I actually did it!  Even though I did it hanging on for dear life to poor Papa Bear's hand - actually his thumb, I was inordinately proud of myself.  I had confronted a fear which had dominated and controlled me my entire life - and lived to tell the tail.
With this success behind me.  I craved more.

Soon another challenge presented itself:  the Tobermory Lookout Tower in (of course) Tobermory, ON at the tip of the Bruce Peninsula where Georgian Bay (sometimes called the sixth great lake) and Lake Huron meet.

I had known for some time that it existed but had never met it up close and personal.  I saw the turn off sign at the highway every time we did a weekend away at the Bruce.  We'd never taken it:  until that day when I decided to confront my fear once again.  This time with a new challenge.

This tower although high and scary is not identical to the one in Parry Sound.  It is not as high but actually was more of a challenge to me.  It is built of wood and steel rather than all steel as the one at Parry Sound is.  Therefore, it sways in the wind creating a sort of singing sound which to me was quite unnerving. The stairs are on the outside, rather than in the middle, which makes the height more visible and, therefore, more fearsome (to me).

At the outset, looking up, my heart became stuck in my throat and I gulped.  I was ready to back out before the first step was made.  BUT ... Papa Bear held out his hand, encouraging me to take that first step.  So I did.

That first step led to a second, then a third.  Heart in throat the entire time, we made it up step by step.  Pulses of fear coursing like runaway electric threads throughout my lower limbs.

I could not do this.  Yet each time I told Papa Bear that I had reached my limit, he would point to a spot above me and say:  we're almost there.  Let's go one more.

So we did.  Papa Bear refused to let me back down.  Instinctively he knew that if I backed out now, I would never try again.  He refused to let me fail.  His strength became my strength.  His courage became my courage.  His belief in my ability to make it to the top became my belief that I could indeed attain this goal.

Victory is so sweet

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