Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I've Learned ...

A few years ago, I wrote a list of things that I've learned in the journey.  Things that make the journey worthwhile.  That compel me to continue on this road I'm on - despite all the twists and turns.  The unexpected.

Today I want to share with you a fragment of this list.  Because I get tired.  Really tired in this journey.  Frustrated at the unexpected downturns on the road.  Discouraged.  I need a reminder to keep me going.  To propel me further on this journey I'm on.  And what better than something I wrote years ago which is still as true today as the day I put thought to paper (or rather computer in this case).
  • I've learned that good can come out of bad. 
  • I've learned that the relationships that are the most important to me are my family.
  • I've learned that my husband does care for me; he may not understand me or know what to do in certain situations but he does love me.
  • I've learned to value, honour and respect my husband.  In turn, he is responding in kind
  • I've learned to put the crocheting or the book down and talk with my husband.
  • I've learned to pay attention when he wants to talk about things that don't really interest me because they do interest him and that shows that I value him
  • I've learned that the only person I can change is myself.  But when I change myself, others change towards me as a result.
As you can see, my journey towards recovery has had everything to do with working on my own issues, my own self, my own identity and nothing really to do with changing or working on anyone else.  The change in others, in my relationships with them, has been a by-product of the change occurring within me.

My recovery has everything to do with relationships, how they can and do change when the focus is taken off them and their own (perceived) shortcomings and put squarely on the only person who really matters - the one doing the recovery.  Myself.

My recovery is all about me.  No one else.

Life, though, is not all about me.

There's a difference.

I've been blessed beyond belief with many people who, as they saw the changes taking place within me, responded to them.

I've been blessed with re-inventing not only myself but also relationships of those close to me.

Re-living this list brings me back to focus.  To focus on the healing.  The recovery.  The journey.

It gives me hope and renews my flagging strength to take one more step towards recovery.

To continue on.

See you tomorrow.....

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