Today: Meet Sparrow, a delightful young lady who is still in many ways in the process of becoming. Although much younger than myself, she is no stranger to trauma; albeit different traumas than myself. Today, she chooses to write on the topic of marriage (which being a single person is pretty logical). I hope you enjoy the change and break from the on-going story. Welcome Sparrow!
Notes from the Sparrow
Marriage, Marathons & Practical Metaphors:
Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns. And it seems that you never know where you are going, until you end up there. Lately, I’ve been astonished at how far I’ve ended up from where I’ve started.
There must be a great many people who can relate – in some way or another – especially on the subject of relationships. I recently found a wedding invitation that lasted longer than the marriage - making this “commitment phobe” reconsider the subject altogether.
How many people start out on a “great adventure together” only to encounter trouble along the way? It’s like starting a 10 Km, only to realize you are wearing stilettos. You might be able to hobble the first kilometre, but after 5 you’ve completely ditched the race.
Marriage is hard work. No I’ve never done it – probably because of that. It’s like signing up to run a marathon. It’s hard work BEFORE you even cross the starting line. Battling shin splits, bloody toes and stiff muscles months in advance as you slog it out on the road. Whether you are learning to run or practicing for the ultimate marathon running is a mental sport – and we are all insane.
When learning to run – I couldn’t run more than 1 km by myself. But I had this running buddy. Ironically, we each determined privately that we weren’t going to give up until the other person did. And somehow we managed to make it there and back again without stopping – or having a heart attack.
The ironic part is that runners don’t enjoy the pain of running. Not even during the race – at least I didn’t. It’s all about the goal. It doesn’t matter if you are first or dead last. It’s not about whether you are running are walking – you’ve got this determination to keep going.
You celebrate each step that you take, each telephone pole you pass. You don’t count what you have left to run, but the miles that you have achieved.
Don’t forget your cheering squad: the people cheering you on from the sidelines. Even if they are there to steal your après run treats - they give you this drive to keep going as they step onto the asphalt and run beside you for a few seconds.
Crossing the finish line, you can’t wait to sign up for another one. Something crazier, a Spartan run anyone?
Perhaps if marathon running was a prerequisite for a marriage license, divorce rates would plummet. Or marriages. Probably both.
Either way, I think it would add a sense of reality and practicality to marriage. Weddings are just the start of the marathon. Along the way, you are going to run through a whole lot of agony just to stumble across the finish line.
You can’t randomly sign up for one – you’ve got to be committed.
Note to Readers: I am very interested in having guest blogs on a fairly regular basis. If any of you have a story you want to tell, please contact me.