Thursday, November 28, 2013

Workplace Abuse: Specific qualities and personality traits of the target


It seems like one blog posting is segueing naturally into another.  From a working definition of bullying to what causes the bully to choose a particular worker to target.  From there, it segued to why I, Cassie
Stratford, in particular was targeted.  Today, it is segueing to a long list taken from the material I collected over the years of qualities/personality traits the target has.


So today, because the list is long, this posting will be someone else's words, any dialogue I have to make on them will be another posting entirely.

According to the website bullyonline.org, in their on-line article "Bullying:  what is it?",  "Targets of bullying usually have these qualities:
  • popularity (this stimulates jealousy in the less-than-popular bully)
  • competence (this stimulates envy in the less-than-competent bully)
  • intelligence and intellect
  • honesty and integrity (which bullies despise)
  • you're trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable
  • a well-developed integrity which you're unwilling to compromise
  • you're always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the same
  • successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude
  • a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness
  • imaginative, creative, innovative
  • idealistic, optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of self, family, the employer, and the world
  • ability to master new skills
  • ability to think long term and to see the bigger picture
  • sensitivity (this is a constellation of values to be cherished including empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance, etc.)
  • slow to answer
  • helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience
  • giving and selfless
  • difficulty saying no
  • diligent, industrious
  • tolerance
  • strong sense of honour
  • irrepressible, wanting to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it
  • an inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to other people's opinions of oneself (eg through tests, exams, appraisals, manager's feedback, etc.)
  • low propensity to violence (ie you prefer to resolve conflict through dialogue rather than through violence or legal action)
  • a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits and manipulates to dissaude you from taking grievance and legal action)
  • a desire to always think well of others
  • being incorruptible, having high moral standards which you are unwilling to compromise
  • being unwilling to lower standards
  • a strong well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise or abandon
  • high expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people in positions of power who abuse power
  • a tendency to self-deprecation, indecisiveness, deference and approval seeking
  • low assertiveness
  • a need to feel valued
  • quick to apologize when accused, even if not guilty (this is a useful technique for defusing an aggressive customer or potential road rage incident)
  • perfectionism
  • higher-than-average levels of dependency, naivety and guilt
  • a strong sense of fair play and a desire to always be reasonable
  • high coping skills under stress, especially when the injury to health becomes apparent
  • a tendency to internalize anger rather than express it.
And there, dear reader, you pretty well have my personality summed up succinctly in point form.  By an author who is not only in a different country but on a different continent entirely.  Someone who has never met me nor will, in all probability, ever meet me.  This wasn't written by Cassie Stratford for Cassie Stratford.  

Therein lies its inherent value.  

This is for - and about - all of us who have faced bullying in the workplace.  

This describes us.  

This is us.

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